'm sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect
I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl
(Bridge)
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
sleeping baby
i spent the weekend with my sister down in LA today to kind of get a new perspective about everything thats been happening. the one thing that really hit me right in the heart...was watching my nephew James sleep in my sister's arm.
I started to tear up at that point. And I just watched him there, sleeping so peaceful without a care on his face and I realized that was something that i want, maybe one of the most important things in the world that i want, is to be able to hold my baby and keep them safe from everything just by being able to put them to sleep.
a lot of things have creeped through my mind lately and its going to take a lot of time to process everything. but in that one moment, everything seemed so clear, this was joy to me, unadulterated happiness, bliss, whatever. even though im his uncle, i felt a connection with that moment that made it feel like he was my own son.
it was really refreshing
I started to tear up at that point. And I just watched him there, sleeping so peaceful without a care on his face and I realized that was something that i want, maybe one of the most important things in the world that i want, is to be able to hold my baby and keep them safe from everything just by being able to put them to sleep.
a lot of things have creeped through my mind lately and its going to take a lot of time to process everything. but in that one moment, everything seemed so clear, this was joy to me, unadulterated happiness, bliss, whatever. even though im his uncle, i felt a connection with that moment that made it feel like he was my own son.
it was really refreshing
Saturday, April 5, 2008
processes
emotion is a constant in this world. whether it happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or whatever you're feeling, you should be always feeling something. it's what separates us from everyone, because at that exact point in time, you are feeling something only you can really fully grasp. now you can try to explain it to others, or you can also try to take relate to someone else's situation, but its truly never the same.
trying to explain your emotions, or what you feel, for the most part, isn't really trying to tell the other person what it is. it's more along the lines of reminding yourself how you view happiness or sadness, anger or depression, and by saying the words out loud, you solidify your statement, and make it real for you, not for anyone else. sure you want people to understand what you feel, but everyone knows, in the back of your head, they just won't understand like you do.
a lot of people talk sometimes to convince themselves of what they are feeling, and try to validate that its the "right" way to feel. im a victim of this, and i tend to talk a lot and try to convince myself that what i am doing right at this moment is what i "should" be doing. but it's like trying to justify why red is looks red, you really never come to a conclusion based on other people's opinions, and only when you open your eyes and see for yourself what color it is, and actually want to believe, does it become a true in your life.
right now my blue is green. i still have a far ways to go.
trying to explain your emotions, or what you feel, for the most part, isn't really trying to tell the other person what it is. it's more along the lines of reminding yourself how you view happiness or sadness, anger or depression, and by saying the words out loud, you solidify your statement, and make it real for you, not for anyone else. sure you want people to understand what you feel, but everyone knows, in the back of your head, they just won't understand like you do.
a lot of people talk sometimes to convince themselves of what they are feeling, and try to validate that its the "right" way to feel. im a victim of this, and i tend to talk a lot and try to convince myself that what i am doing right at this moment is what i "should" be doing. but it's like trying to justify why red is looks red, you really never come to a conclusion based on other people's opinions, and only when you open your eyes and see for yourself what color it is, and actually want to believe, does it become a true in your life.
right now my blue is green. i still have a far ways to go.
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