I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now I’m all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
(When) Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
[ Wait For You lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Don’t leave me crying

Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
I’ll be waiting …

order

i really wish i could say i wake up everyday and my life was in order.


i miss the days i used to crawl out of bed and be like wow its a new day, and look forward to it. its not so much anymore. i dont really feel my life is even my life right now.

everything is just such a mess, and thats the sad point, in reality it isn't. my life is absolutely fine on paper, but in my head, its like wow, something is completely screwed up.

i really have no one right now, and at the same time i have everyone that i had before.

joy.

sigh

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

im just so sorry :(

'm sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl

(Bridge)
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

sleeping baby

i spent the weekend with my sister down in LA today to kind of get a new perspective about everything thats been happening. the one thing that really hit me right in the heart...was watching my nephew James sleep in my sister's arm.

I started to tear up at that point. And I just watched him there, sleeping so peaceful without a care on his face and I realized that was something that i want, maybe one of the most important things in the world that i want, is to be able to hold my baby and keep them safe from everything just by being able to put them to sleep.

a lot of things have creeped through my mind lately and its going to take a lot of time to process everything. but in that one moment, everything seemed so clear, this was joy to me, unadulterated happiness, bliss, whatever. even though im his uncle, i felt a connection with that moment that made it feel like he was my own son.

it was really refreshing

processes

emotion is a constant in this world. whether it happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or whatever you're feeling, you should be always feeling something. it's what separates us from everyone, because at that exact point in time, you are feeling something only you can really fully grasp. now you can try to explain it to others, or you can also try to take relate to someone else's situation, but its truly never the same.

trying to explain your emotions, or what you feel, for the most part, isn't really trying to tell the other person what it is. it's more along the lines of reminding yourself how you view happiness or sadness, anger or depression, and by saying the words out loud, you solidify your statement, and make it real for you, not for anyone else. sure you want people to understand what you feel, but everyone knows, in the back of your head, they just won't understand like you do.

a lot of people talk sometimes to convince themselves of what they are feeling, and try to validate that its the "right" way to feel. im a victim of this, and i tend to talk a lot and try to convince myself that what i am doing right at this moment is what i "should" be doing. but it's like trying to justify why red is looks red, you really never come to a conclusion based on other people's opinions, and only when you open your eyes and see for yourself what color it is, and actually want to believe, does it become a true in your life.

right now my blue is green. i still have a far ways to go.